First Draft
Seeing all those people strolling through this
museum makes me wish for the ability to speak. I wish I could put everything I
know about photography into words and tell these people about how it is
possible for them to take a picture today. I want them to know that the development
that took place between 1839 and today has shaped photography in numerous ways.
I myself am old, some might say ancient. I am one of the first pictures that
were ever taken and it is due to my creator Louis Daguerre that the foundation
stone for photography was laid in 1839. This new technology baffled and
fascinated the masses but it remained a privilege granted only to wealthy
people for a very long time. Paying 25 gold francs for the silver plates to
build a camera obscura was not something anybody could afford. Still,
photography managed to outweigh the art of painting because it managed to grasp
the moment of the picture in a more eloquent way. David Octavius Hill was one
of the photographers who managed to do exactly that in each of his pictures,
even though most of his subjects did not look directly at the camera. Around
the 1860s people first started to retouch the negatives and the first sessions
of studio photography represented a decline in taste. The props used in the
pictures, to make it easier for the subject to stand for a longer period of
time, made the picture look, if I may say so, surreal and ridiculous. Another undesirable
aspect that was first found in pictures taken at this point in time was the
appearance of a halo. The long exposure times illuminated the picture, which practically
shone out in comparison to the usually darker background. After the 1880s
though, this halo became a desirable feature of every picture that was taken.
As only quite wealthy people could afford having pictures taken, this halo was
associated with wealth and well-being. Being able to recreate this halo in the
picture enabled everybody, including factory workers, to look well-off. Years
and years later the birth of creative photography changed the history of
photography yet again.
Unfortunately, this is where my story ends. I am old and I don’t remember much
of the history after that. But maybe someday, another picture will be able to
finish this story and maybe someone will listen.
Feedback from my classmates:Julia and Bianca generally liked my text. They liked my choice of vocab and complimented my writing style. However, they made me aware of the fact that my text consisted of too many facts. Even though the first and final paragraph of my text were narrative, the bits inbetween seemed to be just a list of facts. They helped me figure out which bits to eliminate in the text and which ones to keep for the final version.
Final Version:
Seeing all the visitors strolling through this
museum makes me yearn for the ability to speak. I wish I could put everything I
know about photography into words and tell these people about how the shaping
of photography’s history made it possible for them to take a picture today.
I myself am old, some might say
ancient: I am one of the first pictures that were ever taken and it is due to
my creator Louis Daguerre that the foundation stone for photography was laid in
1839. Like me, all my brothers and sisters here next to me also played their
roles in shaping the history of photography. If they spoke up, they would agree
with me and tell you how they managed to baffle and fascinate the masses. This
fellow here to my right for example would tell you about the fact that for a
very long time photography used to be a privilege granted only to wealthy
people. My brother to my left would share a different story with you. He’d talk
about how after so many years of trying to get rid of a halo, he was the first
picture to be retouched in order to recreate this certain aspect. As the halo,
created by long exposure times and low light sensitivity, was considered a sign
of wealth, factory workers living in the period of industrialization wished to own
pictures that included the halo to make themselves look well-off.
Unfortunately, no matter how
interesting all of this may sound to you, my words fall on deaf ears in this
museum. I am very old and forgetful and I am not quite sure how much longer
I’ll be able to tell all these stories. But maybe someday, another picture will
be able to tell the same stories and maybe someone will finally listen.
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